Filipino Courtship Customs
- How to court a Filipina
When it comes to courting in Filipino culture, you have to be more indirect than in Western societies. Filipino courtship usually last for a long period of time. An engagement, for example, often lasts for several years and as far as marriage is concerned, it is viewed as a lifetime commitment. However due to the profileration of online dating services, many lovers skip courting altogether as in cases of love at first sight or arranged marriage.
First Stage: Friendly Start
Usually the beginning of a relationship starts with a casual date. The couple will go out together in public places and will be accompanied by mutual friends. During this stage of courting there will be no public displays of affection, the man has to be discreet and friendly or he will be slapped with a tag of being too stuck up or aloof. At this point of time, it is too early for physical contact such as kissing or holding hands.
Second Stage: Tactful Dating
That is the second stage of Filipino courtship whereby the courting couple would go out together without the company of their friends. Again, the main point is being discreet.
Filipino women do not like the courtship process to be fast. Filipino girls are expected to play hard to get because their culture deemed it as an appropriate behavior when they are being courted. A Filipino girl would never reveal her admiration for the man immediately.
Playing hard to get is one of the way which Filipino women measure the sincerity of her courting partner. This will also demostrate to the man that he has to work hard to win her love. Some courtships may last for years before the woman accepts her admirer’s love and they become 'magkasintahan', a term for boyfriend-girlfriend.
Third Stage: Making the Relationship Public
After some time the couple may decide to make their romance known to their family and friends. Every man who wants to be taken seriously by a Filipino girl is advised to visit her family and introduce himself formally to her parents. It would be inappropriate to court a Filipino girl and formalize the relationship without informing the girl’s parents.
There is a unspoken rule here that says: “When courting a Filipino girl, you are not just courting her but you are courting the entire family as well ”. Following this rule will help you earn her respect by entrusting her family with high regard.
There are certain traditions that have to be observed when visiting the Filipino girl's family. For example, if the man wants to be accepted by the girl’s family, he has to give out small presents every time he visits her family's house. You can always ask any questions regarding which traditions you should observe with her older siblings in the family.
Final Stage: Engagement and Marriage
After spending a period of time with your Filipino girl and if you decided to get married, the first thing you should do is ask the girl’s parents for her hand. You can find out more in 'Filipino Wedding Customs'.
When courting a Filipino woman you will find out that she is demure and reserved even when she has great feelings for you. This is a part of her culture and even for a Western man there is no way around that. You should treat your Filipino girl with respect and woo her with your heart. You would be surprised that your life will be more enriching and fulfilled as you have never imagined.
Here you will read successful stories from lots of couples that found their love through asian online dating services such as FilipinaHeart.com, Filipino FriendFinder and many more.
Shaun and Virgie
We first started chatting about a year ago. Finally I decided to go to Manila to meet her. Wow, am I ever happy that I did. We fell in love and we now are Married as of April 26, 2006 . I must admit that it was a little awkward on the first meeting, but she was even more excited than I was. We are now planning to build a house in the Philippines. We just bought a 10 hectare lot and we are begining our dreams together. Thanks Filipino FriendFinder
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